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Sara Minton

Editor, Writer, Lover not a Fighter

When I slung myself into the crowd of the newly-thirties, I found my dating life couldn’t be more entertaining! By day, I work for the man, because good vodka doesn’t come cheap. By night, I scour the city for signs of culture and nightlife. I’m a laugher, through and through. I’m too nostal...

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To Delete or Not To Delete

What kind of friendship is this anyway...

A hand full of months ago, my ex rang me up in an effort to re-connect. I think. There was never any real clear indication as to what the purpose of re-connecting at this point in time was, but I’m guessing that curiosity got the best of him and he wanted to see what I was up to.

I won’t bore you with the hows and whys of our breakup, but I will say that I was pretty broken-hearted! Given this, I understand that time is needed after a breakup to recover, gain understanding and move on, but I thought that not hearing from him for almost two years meant that there was very little hope for a future connection.

When the time comes to figure out if you want to be friends or if you can ever be friends with an ex, it’s always awkward. I’ve never been able to be actual friends with any of my exes; it’s always just been a nice theory for me.

One of the reasons I should have seen this coming was due to this rather annoyingly addictive website called Facebook! I’m not the biggest fan of this site, but what kind of pop culture addict would I be if I didn’t participate in the craze! He invited me to be his friend a long time ago, but was never too active on the site! These days, he has been quite the chatter bug.

Now that I’ve been given clearance into his life a bit more, I’m starting to feel like that is not really the best thing for me. I’ve read his blogs; I’ve seen his conversations with others, and I’ve also been upset by some of the things that I’ve read. This tells me that I must not be ready to be friends! I don’t need to know that he’s remodeling his place, with some old ideas I gave to him years back, in order to impress a new love!

Plenty of friends have agreed that I should delete him as a friend on Facebook.com and keep moving along. I thought that would be a good idea, but have put it off time and time again because I don’t really know how to explain my reasons to him. I can explain them to everyone else in the world, but probably not him.  

Well, I got brave last weekend and hit the delete button. And then hit the “Yes, I’m sure I want to delete” button as well. A few days later, he sent me a new friend request with a note asking if I really meant to delete him as a friend! DANG! What to do now? I accepted him back, but have yet to respond to his question. I’m at a complete loss at the moment! Until I figure out what to do, I’m doing my best to navigate around him on my site!

Where do you stand on the issue of being friends with your ex; even if it’s only on Myspace.com or Facebook.com?